From my window I can see fear
From my window I could see heartbreak
From my window I can’t find a single soul
From the warmth of my skin to the coldness of my feet I couldn’t see the light shining because the light was dimming every day as time went by with it. We saw the light once but once in a while it flickers. You could see it once filled with happiness and joy but soon it could disappear and leave you in fear and heartbreak again. The smell of my mom’s waffles was not only sickening but heartbreaking because that’s what reminded me of him……
Everytime I look outside my window it reminds me of HIM, the old man who lived far from us, the old man who made everyone laugh but surprisingly very introverted, the old man who is really hard working (heck he even owns his own business!) the old man who soon had to leave…..I didn’t even get to say goodbye. This was not the first time he was in this situation though he had a stroke a 10 years ago and my oh my do you see him getting in and out of the hospital. As I looked at him through the window, he looked dreadful. Those days the workaholic turned into an alcoholic. As I look through my window all I see is heartbreak and fear for not one soul is safe in this world and only a few will escape the sad way which is how that old man escaped the cruel world around.
The dimming light eventually stood its place as the heartbreak grew bigger and bigger until that heartbreak would turn into depression. The heartbreak hurts like a knife to the heart. As more people get this depression the whole society will be in a mental breakdown. Staggering to find help but no one sees. Clutching his hands to his chest. No one is around or at least from your perspective. The whole society is falling apart but in that moment he thought that he was the only one who felt that way.
That feeling when you are just surrounded in this small space thinking you are never going to come out of it? That small space where you hate to stay in but it’s mandatory. That small space where you are supposed to feel safe but instead you’re more stressed. That small space where all your tears flood it until you actually drown in them. Struggling trying to find air, a struggle for trying to find hope, the struggle to live. Struggles in which the old man experienced.
Through my window I couldn’t see a single soul but I know where those souls were. Those souls knew what they had to do to stay safe, those souls knew that they had to keep others safe, and those souls knew that if you live your life in FEAR and HEARTBREAK you would never grow and never learn. Yet those souls could be the ones struggling the most. You could also say that because of all these struggles souls decide to put other souls in danger. So the question lies would you rather feel happy but put others and yourself in danger or feel miserable but keep others and yourself safe? You see that question relies on you to answer but let me just say that many people are going through this not only you. If only people could have recognized that old man’s sadness, if only that old man would have realized that me and many other people were going through the same thing. Then he might have been alive today. So let it all go and start a new beginning then perhaps soon I can see a soul through my window. R.I.P I will always remember you but it is time to let you go. You were too pure for this world.
