Grief hits me like a flood,
And suddenly I’m falling.
I can’t hold myself up anymore,
So I sink to the ground
Kneeling down
My head bowed low.
I plead and pray for you to come back
But I don’t get an answer.
I know I never will.
I recover quickly from my little episode,
But I see a picture of you
Tubes attached
Smiling weakly.
I start to cry.
I am no longer brave
I am no longer strong
I’m just a little girl
Who didn’t want you to die.
Sometimes I’m angry that you didn’t stay longer,
Sometimes I’m sad.
But sometimes I’m happy because of all the memories I have.
I know it’s selfish
For me to want you back
When you needed to be put out of your misery.
But I want you to see who I am today,
And who I want to be.
I want you to see how smart I am
How brave I am
How kind I am.
And I want you to see how successful I am
How funny I am
How grown I am.
And I want you to know how I still sink to the floor
My heart writhing in pain
Because you aren’t here with me.
And I want you to know how much I loved you.
How much I do love you.
How much I miss you.
