Ascendant


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The sun rose as its light forced its way through the New York City buildings. The glare found its way in my room through the window. I dragged myself out of bed with little to no energy. I walked miserably towards the window. Pondering whether I should stay awake or go to sleep I looked down expecting nothing but the usual busy New York streets. Instead the streets were lifeless. The tall buildings covered with windows tried to make up for the vacancy. The stoplights and street signs directed my eyes to the streets that ran for miles without occupancy. I closed the curtains and threw myself back in the bed. The darkness of the room quickly put me back to sleep.      

Almost an hour later I was awake again. I was not enthused for the rest of the day but I had ten times the energy I had before. I opened the curtains once more and at first nothing seemed to change. After a couple of seconds I realized a figure on the sidewalk. I looked closely but could not see what the figure was. The figure moved closer from my right to my left. Once it was closer to the center, I realized the figure was a woman dressed in white. I couldn’t make out her facial features because she wore a large church hat. The mysterious woman stopped as she looked up as if she felt my presence. I hid behind the curtain but the woman’s eyes were fixed on my room window. I heard a soft familiar voice in my head. I was home alone so I knew it had to be in my head. The words were not clear but I was more focused on what this voice in my head was. I peeped through the curtains and she looked back with a smile that said “I’m proud of you”. When I realized what I saw I thought to myself “this could not be true”. The woman on the street was my mother.       I remember seeing my mother unresponsive in the hospital. I remember the morning after hearing that she had died. It broke my heart. The room was filled with my family but all I could feel was a thick atmosphere of gloom in the air. Everyone was crying. Some were in disbelief, some were angry at God, some wished that they could replace her. I was sad because she never got to see me excel like she had always predicted. I tried my best to think only of the good times. She was an amazing person and full of joy. She used to call me “Kylie”. I used to be embarrassed by it but now I wish she was able to call me “Kylie” one more time.     

So when I saw my mother in the street I was confused. My mother had passed but she was standing right in front of me. I looked down as she opened her mouth and whispered something. The voice in my head was also her voice. That explains why the voice was so familiar. She said “I miss you but I need you to know that I am at peace. All the pain is gone. I have no more burdens of life”. I felt a sudden peace and joy shower me. I did not know that I needed this reassurance but when I received it I was extremely grateful. Her body rose from the ground slowly and majestically. As she ascended there was a brief moment of complete silence where she stopped midway. She knew I had something to say.      

I never got to say goodbye. I was faithfully that she would make it out so why would I? But even some things that I wish I had said to her before. I believe she heard me but I would never know. Seeing her leave again triggered me to use this time to say goodbye. I looked her in her eyes and said,“I love you”“I love you more”, she replied, “Continue to make me proud. You have always been a child of excellence.”“I will”, I say as I realize that she is leaving again, “Is this the last time I will see you?”“I’m always here with you”, she answered, “You may not see me again but my presence will be right here”, her hands phased through the window but her motherly touch was still felt. “Goodbye Mom”“It’s not goodbye Kylie, I will see you soon” 

I watched her ascend until she was out of sight. I went about my day with acceptance and hope that I will see her in the afterlife. This helped me grieve and support my family as they grieved. She was a wonderful person who believed in me more than anyone else did. I continue to strive for excellence and be the best person I can. I hope I can continue to bring the joy that she brought to others. 

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