Gazing outside I see the moon that man somehow reached
And I remember that it’s man not woman
Pondering if anyone else’s moon gaze is interrupted by the same thought
Peering through the window across the street you can see a girl that sings through writing
Chattering to strangers who only asked for directions
Questioning why lawyers were paid to argue
And in arguments
She could cry an ocean and hold back a tear
In both she learned that one does not take more than the other
Patience to hold back an ocean
And courage to swim in it
Just as her mother said
She declared she wanted to carry the weight of the world, like Atlas
Maybe if she did then everyone would look at the sky for once
And gaze at her the way they gaze at the moon except
This time they would call it the weight of the world on her shoulders
Her shoulders
Are great for leaning on and crying on
That doesn’t mean she likes physical touch
She wanted love without saying she wanted love
This will never work because people are busy people
There is no forever for the patient ones that are running thin
She remembered when she once ran to be thin
Friend,
One day they stopped asking for my favorite color
And asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up
Alive, happy, and loved, I wanted to say
But since when did words betray
Friend,
They buried someone on my birthday
We celebrated my entrance to a new maturity
But what they said in my right ear doesn’t leave my left
I wasn’t supposed to recognize the past I knew best
Friend,
They just killed a man
Claiming they were conversing but
Opened their mouths, their words close to his head
The expression on his face was no more than dead
Friend.
I’m scared of dying and you’re really the only one I can tell
Because I’m afraid of their judgement and their eyes reading my face that I try to pile
With a mask that can easily
disintegrate…. Into the face you were born with
Until the day they forget what you were born with
But that can’t happen
That can’t happen,
They told women who wanted to go to the moon
Friend!
When I look out that window I don’t see a haven I see
A swarm of bees over plastic flowers I see
Everyone else pointing at them and talking about how the flowers are pretty
and pretty
and pretty dead to me
When I say goodbye to our world
I won’t wave because my shoulder hurts from carrying the weight of the world that was heavier
than I expected
Atlas’ performance couldn’t be perfected
I think it’s time for me to go
Make sure to tell them nothing really mattered to me
And that I was actually poor but the people around me had much to give
And make sure to tell them to look up at the sky and see the man on the moon
(and ask them what they see
It might be the last time they say the truth)
Would they try carrying the world on their shoulders for fun
Tell them it’s for fun
They’ll think life had just begun
And lastly
I’ll be turning my back on the man on the moon
They’re telling me to open my eyes now
Thank you heaven for all the dreams you sent the child
that dreamt more than they allow
